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[Ba]

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii all

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I am soooo fucking angry right now. Sooo PISSED.

I need a fucking zoot to relax me. My head is spinning.

I think its everything just got too much all in one day. First my mother - she says these things which really do hurt me (and Im not a person who gets 'hurt' easily - but when its ur own mother its a different story). She doesnt even realise what she says cuts me deep. Thats whats the worst thing about this is all - she doesnt even care. Then my dad - what gives him the right to talk like that??! I cant speak up against what he says because I have to be good lil muslim girl and respect him. And disagreeing with your parents translates as disrespecting them. And all this was over the fone....

Then, HER....o LORD...where do I begin. Actually i just won't go there....but she really has angered me

And then I find out the "peaceful" protest in my beloved Harrow has turned violent through a text message from my cousin. Remind me why I love Harrow, again? I didnt realise there were so many BNP supporters actually living within Harrow. And i didnt realise that the muslim youth couldn't care less about making every single 'foreigner' look like scum.None of those little brown gangster wanabes went into the mosque to pray....but they had the cheek to start shouting and swearing at the muslim women who did not have hijab, and attack the police when the fascists had already been beaten. They still think their fasts are valid? These hooligans are just as bad as the BNP. They will rot in hell together. Now you look at the news and suprise suprise the Harrow muslim youths are made out to be the bad ones...Thanks for that you lil boys (coz thats what you are little boys with little dicks ) for giving reason for racial tension within Harrow which will undoubtedly occur after todays events.

And right now...all i can think of is getting high. Getting away from my own mind and intimidating thoughts. Its Ramazan and I'm feeling like makin a couple of calls to get some shit. Whats wrong with me...I cant even behave for just one month.

Its been almost 3 months since I cut....and I just fucked it up by doin 5 deep ones. I feel like a failure.

Right Im gonna go for a walk.

[Umz]

humph... brains all mushy
Alhamd... Twins wer born y'day... v early but healthy n al is well :\

Hah... tbh its all groovy this way :s dno why why why
bt thas wat u get for hopin
... =] you went this tym last yr... walked of last ramadhan into a better life
im glad ur happy... the rest r still stuck sumwer, bouncin of dreams n reality
aaah hate/love the way ur around,yup itl b interestin n terribly terrible
bt im gna b okay wen ur gone...
I can't tell you :\ bt ana uhubukka fillahi
... Humph... what a ramadhan >.<

2yrs to save... 2 yrs...
... wana b 2 yrs older

[silenced]

i'm really struggling

I don't want to be angry during these days and nights.

Went to sleep feeling so empty and just generally crap last night. I have so much anger in me, and my family.....I swear they are doing this to me on purpose.

I have one sibling at the moment who I get on with. Just ONE member of my family.

Man, this is really hard....but i gotta be strong . Cant let any one see me upset or give them the satisfaction that they have got to me. Be brave as always

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IM SOOOO HIGGGGGGGGGGH BECAUSEE IM SOOOOOOOO FLYYYYYY

Daymm i was waitin for this badboy all day....and nw my head feels like its up in the clouds

rhas thiss keyboard feels like jelly

[Umz]

Devil roared, humph wat a cold grumpy day =D tut
interview tomorow, ia all goes well...
tired, ramadhans flew by >.< blurgh

[WAKEUP09]

jen' ur a Waste.

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Why