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[WAKEUP09]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOZHn7_h ... re=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oM62Q11w4K4

[Taybah]

My thought of the day:

Shaykh Sayyiduna Abu Salma (AR) stated, "It is more beneficial for the heart to ignore any desires of the nafs, than to fast for 12 months during the days and worship during the nights."

Not obeying my nafs

[Baji_Me]

Weird.
I actually feel a need to feed these kids. These kids being my siblings. I mean they're all capable of feeding themselves, but it just doesnt feel right to not have cooked for them

Mums gone pakistan. Her father passed away. Dont know how to feel to be honest. I dont know if its right to think this, but i feel as though he is at peace. We're all human. N we all sin. But him.... he was different. His presence would make all the troubles in the world disappear. Such an inspirational figure mashaAllah. Usually when a loved one passes away, we hope and pray that they are not suffering all them many feet under....but with my mums dad its different. Im not worried...coz i know he must be in a peaceful abode.
I remember waking up one night. It was pitch black and i hear someone walking around in the courtyard. Who would be up after midnight ...except nana. Goin to do whudhu to perform tahajjud. I had only heard stories of his good nature. But in the two weeks i spent in pak...not a moment passed when he wasnt indulging in some form of dhikr. May the gates of jannah be open for u.

Word has it mother wont be returning for a good few months. Life is gettin far too complicated. When mum was here i had decided to transfer to a different uni. But stoopid uni lot wouldnt give me a reference coz they dont know me well enough ...i've never heard anything more ridiculous in my entire life. Gosh. So when mum went to pakistan a week ago, i thought SubhanAllah. This was a blessing in disguise. I was needed at home to take care of the family. Was planning to start a new course next year...then what happens?....Im given a reference. So now i dont know what to do...Continue with uni and leave the family to clothe and feed themselves ...or not continue. N start another 3 bludi year long degree next year. I wish i hadnt wisened up. Wish i cud just up and leave. But deep down im praising Allah for gettin me thru them many months of hardship we as a family endured. Had it not been for the mercy of Allah i'd either be a) an apostate living a painfully meaningless life b) living in some hostel after having ran away, or c) dead.

Alhamdulillah.

Still dont know what im going to do. Course starts next week. Grr

Wonder if mum is ok?....should i call?....

Love fatti ...nosy git!

[Baji_Me]

FUCKING BITCH!! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE!! THE SOONER I DIE THE BETTER IT WILL BE!! HATE YOU...I HATE YOU TO THE EXTENT THAT I CUD BE PUNCHIN YOUR FACE IN AND SMILING WHEN SEEING YOU CRY IN PAIN!....BUT I WONT. DONT U FUCKIN WORRY BITCH. I STILL HAVE MY FAITH. YOU CAN LIVE UR MOTHA FUCKINGLY SELFISH LIFESTYLE. I HATE YOU!!!!!!

[Baji_Me]

That girl has a new name, and it is Bitch. Cant stand her any more. Argh all the more reason to p1ss off out of this house. I see her going down hill. Having bf's. Smoking. Taking drugs. N il be laughing ...shame on you!!! Muhahahaha!!
Bak in the day i would have been upset that my lil sis is straying. But today, i say keep ur head shoved up ur mates a$$. U think im bad?...Well wait when it hits you..that they were leadin u on ...oh i cant wait. T'will be a great feeling watchin u waste away. All ur good deed being washed away ...i cant wat bitch. I cant wait.

Dont get me wrong. Im not cursing it her. But its wat i see happening. She knows she's hanging with the wrong crowd. N if she aint guiding them towards light...then they must be leading her towards darkness....woooo. Love it. Byebye fatti. Byebye

[t0xy]

..

[silenced]

im so but still shocked and very anxious - all at the same time

After the first 30 seconds of that conversation i was so fukin like OMG that i didnt listen to the rest of what he was saying. Now im gonna sound like a right idiot if i phone him back and be like, 'can u repeat the whole 15 min convo we just had'...

I need someone to call to share my excitement with them....but i got no1....lol how depressing

Hmm i got quite fukd last night but i dont have a headache. i feel fine. Maybe im gettin immune to after effects. I still cant hear out of my left ear. Is it possible to break your ear? Coz if it is....im sure mines broken...

What shall i do tonight...what shall i do now actually...hmm i might go camden town and see wagwan. Passing time man....so fuckin boring.

[Umz]

[єνєяутнιηg ωιℓℓ вє σк ιη тнє єη∂. ιƒ ιт'ѕ ησт σк, ιт'ѕ ησт тнє єη∂.] ???

(8) thursday friday, happy days... the weekend cumes, my cycle hums, ready to race to youuuuuuu (8)
=D

[silenced]

Ok am in a bad situtation....i feel the need to escape...and boy, thats not a good sign. Coz don't I just know what this feeling will lead to! So i thought i'd come online (how difficult is it to do that these days!!) and pour my heart out on here instead of *cough cough*...but i feel really uncomfortable saying deep things on this new forum...so i guess i just wasted my time logging on.

Hmmm i had sutin else to do while im online....but i've totally forgot .. Getting a nice firework display here man....diwali...why cant Eid be so entertaining LOL??

Right, my feelings are just getting worse...time for me to piss off off this computer and be a little naughty

[t0xy]