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Will You Marry Me?

Will you marry me?

 

The dilemma in our head as young single British Muslims seems to be, who will I marry? Or in some cases, who will be that person I am in a long term relationship with and eventually marry?

Whether you’re a British Muslim male or female It’s a question always at the back of your mind. You may try and hide it by not being so obvious and befriending someone in the hope that they will see your qualities. Or you may ask your parents to take the scary step you can’t face to take. It's the same thing? Is it not?

So why is it that guys today seem to class most Asian girls as hoe's? It appears that the independence and confidence of a young British Asian girl is a bit too much for our Asian boys too handle. It may be hard to believe, but girl's today CAN go to university, work, on holiday and still be respectable Muslim women that are good enough to marry a British Muslim guy.

Going to university doesn't mean a woman is less able to fulfill household duties as statistics show that the average age of a woman who gets married in the United Kingdom is nearer 30yrs. Therefore she has much more time to learn skills required in the house than during the dark ages when women got married at as young as 16yrs. And, those women who work also have to learn to deal with various situations and compromise to a great extent, not to mention be able to travel and take responsibility for their safety. Hence, I would say, skills acquired in working life and knowledge ascertained in Education, could prove to be positive when making a life at home. And for the record guys, not every female would you believe, who goes on a girly holiday opts to get drunk, smoke cannabis and go clubbing all night! Those would seem more the antics of our dear British born Muslim guys, perhaps they think in our bid to be their equals we would like to pass out, humiliate ourselves and not know where the hell we are whilst in a foreign country.

But I must say, our dear ladies don't seem to be making it easier for the gentleman to accept them and trust them into married life. Is this why so many guys want to back home and get married to a ‘freshie’? Well, as independent women, we don't want to be messed around by a bloke do we, so perhaps the next best thing may be to mess them around and not let them over power us? Surely if your brother can stay out all night, why do you have to be home by curfew and still make sure you do the dishes or parental chores before you step out or in the house!

Women want equality! We want to be treated as equals because everything we pursue in the western world has been taught to us in such a way. There is no difference between man and woman? Is there? However, in this pursuit, do we forget that by being humble, and not dressing JUST to impress, or keeping our dignity and not letting men take advantage of our loving hearts make us less attractive? What does our potential husband want?
Could it be a girl who can show him a world of love so that he does not need to go anywhere but her arms when he is down or in need of support. A person who he knows will be by his side irrespective of what the future holds. A woman, who shows him respect and can be a shoulder for him to lean on when his work, family or ill health stresses him out. Perhaps a Muslim girl who has faith in her heart which she can pass onto his children who will be the ones to look after them both when they are old and in need of support.

At the end of the day, we all want to be able to chill with some-one special, a person who makes us laugh until our stomach hurts, who will tickle us until we have tears in our eyes and love us unconditionally accepting our faults and caring more for our strengths. This person can be your husband or wife for life, or a short term partner who will eventually break your heart due to no real commitment preventing them from doing so. The search doesn’t end until your married but it begins when you’re ready to believe and trust the single men and women of British Muslim Society.
Maybe young people today are not as bad as you may think?

Noreen A